Feeling neighborly?

This is a version of me telling it like it is.  So if you don't want to hear how gloriously right I am, stop reading.

What would you do if came home to see your neighbor hanging their Christmas decorations on your garage?  Let's start with a little back story.

Back story:
I bought my house about 14 months ago.  I didn't really decorate much outside as I was still trying to get the inside squared away.  So color me shocked when my partner and I arrived home to see Christmas lights on the garage.  And no (in case you are leaning this way) not the entire garage.  The single eave that faces them.  I think that's what it's called.  Eave, right?  If not, that's what it is called now.  I decided not to let my partner say anything lest male testosterone get in the way and they start humping each other to show dominance.  I figured, they wouldn't do it again.

Present Day:
I pulled into my driveway today after picking my oldest daughter up from her after school program and saw my neighbor, again, decorated that single eave of my garage.  I decided right then I would say something.  So, I pulled together my shaking bits, got out of my car and had this lovely little exchange.  

Me:  "Hi, you know you are hanging your lights on my garage?"
Him:  "Yeah."
Me:  "You don't think that's a little weird to do without asking."
Him:  "If it's gonna be a problem, I'll just take them down."
Me:  "You don't think you should maybe ask first?"
Him:  "I'll just take them down."
Me:  "So you are not going to bother asking?"
Him: "I'll just take them down."

Am I the only one perturbed by this exchange?  I mean, this is not a shared garage.  All $900+ of my mortgage is paid for me to have sole use of this garage.  Having said that, do I care?  Not at all.  But why in this day and age would you not shout out a simple: "Hey Neighbor, is it cool if I use this part of your garage or were you planning on doing something with it?"  Not only did this strike me as my neighbor being entitled to do whatever the *&^% he wants to do so long as no one said anything, but the blatant disrespect he showed me during our little exchange was even picked up on by my 7 year old!  What the fuck people?!

I would like nothing more than to have a holly, jolly Pleasantville existence (minus the sex) with all of my neighbors, but it is this crap that makes me not want to interact with anyone.  So Merry Christmas and keep your fucking lights to yourself.

P.S. Have a happy New Year and follow me on Twitter @JackieMichele

No, your child doesn't need the latest technology...

Over the weekend, my oldest daughter decided to write down her list of wants for Christmas.  After being presented with a list of 21 items, it was narrowed down to 10.  Here we go:
1.  3ft play horse
2.  iPod
3.  iPad
4.  Computer
5.  Dream house
6.  Play kitten (very specific about this as she doesn't want to pick up any more poop)
7.  Chocolate covered nuts
8.  Water bottle
9.  Phone 
10. Leap frog

Seriously, kid?!
Apparently, not only does money grow on the tree in my back yard, but technology sprouts up in my lawn.  But it doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter if I was sitting on a small, but decent fortune in gold doubloons.  My daughter isn't getting anything on this list. 

Pardon me while I jump on my soap box that happens to be located at the tip top of Mt. Everest to scream in your face: "Your child doesn't need the latest technology!"

In a time when jobs are iffy and money is tight, it's amazing to me what the American family will blow their hard earned cash on.  iPods and iPads are great.  I have them.  However, I was over the age of 27 when I bought both.  With the later costing me well over $1,000 you can bet your bottom dollar my kid won't be getting one new.  And an iPod?  Forget about it!  They have personal CD players for $19.99 at K-Mart.  Or....wait for it...she can get a job and buy her own damn iPod when she is grown (and no I don't mean 18).

Well, what about a computer?  Kids *need* those to do their school work on!  Excuse me, while I raise a perfectly groomed and filled in brow.  Where in your child's public school handbook does it say that they *need* a computer?  Plus, when push comes to shove, there are computers at school and the library begging to be used.  There is no need here.  However, if I still had the Tandy from my growing years, I'd box that sucker up and stick a bow on it.

And last but not least...a phone.  Please stop pulling my extra jiggly legs...mine are long enough thank you.  No child needs a phone.  So long as there are landlines, this need will not exist.  

Now if you are one of the 13 people who read this rambling mess and are thinking, "But my kid needs __________."  Just stop.  Please stop.  You child does not need it.  You may not want to believe it.  But they don't.  Since the beginning of time, humans have only needed food, clothing, shelter, and companionship.  Throw in a little love and everything else is superfluous.  This is not something that can be argued.  

If you must get this technological crap for you child, for the love of all that is chocolate, do not buy it new.  It doesn't matter if you can afford it or not.  Technology doesn't need to be purchased all shiny and new.  You don't even need the latest model  Get the first generation refurbished model and put the rest in their education savings fund.  Oh wait...don't have one of those?  Well, with the money I just saved you, go start one (cause who the hell buys their kid the latest iPad and then complains they don't have the money to send them to college).

So what is my kid getting for Christmas?  A lot of clothes....and chocolate nuts.

Follow me on Twitter! @JackieMichele