My gnarly nips...

So after being pregnant for over 200 days, I had a lot of time to think about how I would feed my newborn infant.  For 7+ years, I had been saying that I would try breastfeeding with all my might if I ever got the chance because I felt let down over my first experience (or lack there of).  Well, I got my chance and let's just say this chance is sucking balls....

From cluster feeding (feeding your baby every 20 minutes because they are going through a growth spurt and trying to up your supply of breast milk) to the baby practically ripping your nipple off when they turn their head (a.k.a. nipplelash) you are lucky to still have feeling in your nips at the end of the day.  

First up...
In the hospital, my daughter struggled to latch over what the lactation consultant called fibrous nipples.  You don't know what those are?  Yeah, neither do I.  So, she gave me a nipple shield.  This flexible piece of plastic saved my breastfeeding life so much over the past five weeks.

 Next...
I bought two lifesavers.  The first being Medela Tender Care Lanolin.  I use this before and after nursing and it really helps keep from cracking and bleeding.  I also bought gel pads.  These are heaven sent.  Not only do they keep the lanolin on your nips but if you put them in the refrigerator or freezer and it really takes away the pain.

So what's the point of all this??

Shortly before I gave birth, I read research spanning from the CDC to a random nursing moms website that African American moms simply do not breastfeed.  Why?  BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS HARD!  There...I said it.  Breastfeeding is hard and not to mention painful.  It's no wonder that more women don't do it.   However, I want to.  

I want to give my daughter the best start to life which means I will give her the food that was made specifically for her.  I mean think about it.  Cow's milk is for cows.  Deer's milk...for deer.  Formula (you know...that super expensive stuff on the shelf) is modeled after breast milk.  So there is no reason why I should not do what nature intended and latch my daughter to my breast.  I just have to get through the pain, the raw, red nipples, and cluster feeding.  This shit is no joke and it's not for the faint of heart.  

 

 But seriously...I can deal with a little pain for this lil face <3

Throwback Thursday - Totally Disgusting

July 7, 2007

Okay...here's the deal.  Everyone poops.  Yessire Bob.  And this is yet another blog about poop and my beloved daughter.  So if you are easily grossed out, stop reading.

For the past week, Dori has been having issues pooping.  She's been giving me her daily quota and then some.  I'm actually worried that pretty so there won't be any left and then what?

Well, she's been filling her diapers so efficiently I just let her poop it out on the potty.  It's easier clean up and I don't have to throw her in the shower...usually. 

So this goes to show the true innocence of our children.  Adults know where poop comes from.  If you are an adult and you don't know where your poop comes from, well...your parents failed you miserably and I suggest you take a mirror with you to the bathroom next time for a close up look.  Or you could Google it.

Babies don't know a whole lot about their bodily functions.  And poor little Dori didn't know where her poops and toots came from.  And even now I'm not sure if she knows she's making the toots and not the toilet.

Anyway, this afternoon, Dori had another explosive poop.  So I sat her little butt the potty and waited.  All of a sudden this thunderous toot erupted from her butt.  She looked at me, I looked at her, and then (God bless her) she spread her legs and looked inside the potty.  For the next five minutes, she proceeded to watch herself poop with so much interest I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.  I love watching her discover new things.

Totally funny in my world....completely disgusting to those who don't have kids.

 Edible body parts...Gosh I love left over Halloween candy!

Kardashian split, Miley Cyrus, and my nipples!

Telling it like it is...

So as I'm drinking my morning coffee and catching up on my daily celebrity news, I find out that Kris and Bruce Jenner are living separately.  I very rarely catch KUWTK although I love Khloe and Kourtney.  However as I'm taking a big gulp of coffee, I'm stricken with this thought, "Did he ask for his balls back before he moved out or will they be mailed to him at a later date?" 

 

(I've included a pic in case Bruce forgot what they look like...)

 
I haven't heard a thing about Miley Cyrus!  Wahoo!  If you dislike her so much, stop falling into her trap and talking about her.  And if you must talk about her, please ask what color of red the lipstick is because I want it like her tongue wants to find a new home (I can only imagine since it's constantly trying to escape).

 

(Best VMA meme EVER!!!)

As a mom to a newborn, I wanted to give breastfeeding another go.  I tried with my first daughter and it killed me that she wouldn't latch and I gave up almost immediately.  Now, my new daughter is thriving on breast milk, latching (with the help of a nipple shield), and keeping me up at all hours of the night.  But my nipples are killing me!  And when I say killing me, maybe I should be more specific.  It feels as if someone has skewered my nipple with a meat hook, grabbed hold of one end and jumped off the Empire State building.  
The latch is fine but feeding every 20 minutes is not...so I went to the store and bought these.

I bought these at Target and put them on.  Holy Mother of all that is Chocolate and good in the world!  Instant relief!  I'm talking on par with orgasmic release (not that I'd remember).  Now nothing is rubbing on my nips and I read that you can refrigerate them to make it feel even better.  Couple this with my Medela lanolin and my nips should be feeling better in no time.  ;)

Now if only I could get to sleep....

And a baby makes three!

So for the last seven months, I have been engaged in the most horrific pregnancy.  From the morning sickness to the fatigue to the back aches...and when I complained to my doctor about he reminded me that I'm not 24 any.  Gee...thanks doc!

However, on September 21, 2013, I was beyond blessed with my second daughter.  Siobhan Catherine made her way into this world like a bullet out of a gun (I won't mention what she did to my nether regions because quite frankly I'm still to afraid to look). 

My surprise has enlarged my heart and made me feel so blessed.  Over the past few months, her father and I have had serious issues (the ones I said would come up when he first started pursuing me) and whether he is here or not, I have been blessed with two beautiful girls.  I never expected my duo to expand to a trio, but I'll take it!

Throwback Thursday - Personal Products

Originally Posted October 4, 2008 (My how time flies)

Today, I stopped at Safeway to stock up on personal products.  Not because I was expecting anything but because the shit was on sale so I had better stock up.  In what year do we charge almost ten dollars for a disposable vaginal plug?  2008!  That's our claim to history folks!

Anywho, I was sitting there looking at the wonderful array of products when I saw the Summer's Eve and other such items.  I will admit to anyone and everyone, I was rather shocked.  Having not watched television for the better part of a year I did not realize those types of products were still in existence.  Furthermore I don't even believe they are stocked together on the same aisle at Wal-Mart.

As I walked out of Safeway, I wondered what I would do if my better half's penis smelled like a rose. 
I truly thought women had grown out of this phase.  When was it acceptable for our vaginas to smell like roses?  More importantly why?  Why for the love of all that is holy would you want your vagina to smell like a plant?!

Now don't get me wrong.  I love to smell so fresh and so clean like that one rap song says.  However, the line must be drawn ladies.  If your gentleman loves the smell of roast beef or freshly broiled salmon are you going to searching for a douche that tickles your better half's nasal passages in remembrance of a six course meal?  (My fingers are crossed that every woman would reply no.)
The truth is very simple.  We all sweat.  And when we sweat we will have an unpleasant smell if we neglect daily personal hygiene.  But rinsing one's personal area with flower flavored water is hardly the answer.

My suggestion is as simple as the truth.  Bathe thoroughly.  Like that?  I do, too.  Bathe thoroughly in all the nooks and crannies and make sure you rinse.  Then when you step out you are ready for the world...or at least a good 12 hour bout of sweaty sex (by the end of which neither party will be smelling like rose).

Another product I didn't know still existed...Noxzema!

How do you have a surprise family?

The answer is simple....an unplanned pregnancy!  
 
Seven years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl.  I thought she would most likely be my only child due to the fact that three months into my pregnancy I found out her father was married with a family of his own.  No pity party needed here....I learned my lesson (and how to conduct Internet background checks).  Plus, her paternal grandparents are amazing.

Eight months ago, I met an interesting man who refused to let me be alone.  My mantra for the past few years had been, "It's safer to be alone.  It's easier to be alone."  I was content with friendship, but he wanted more.  I let him into my life slowly at first and faster in the end.  

You see it was interesting.  I had never had anyone in my life to help me before him.  He cooked for my daughter and I and when I got sick in October he took over completely.  This was very new to me.  I have been alone since the beginning of my single parenthood.  So alone, that I can't conceive on having any sort of help even now.  How do I go from being single mother to a parenting duo?  I've become so self reliant that I'm unsure how to be anything else.  It's going to be something new and possibly challenging and I hope to share it with other single moms. :)