What should I teach my daughter?

My daughter (according to her teachers) is well behaved, respectful of others, and enjoys talking.  Now, that last part is not a shock.  But what should I teach my daughter?  She already gets taught manners but is it enough?  Should I teach her about having disagreements with friends or should I explain what to do when people don't like you?  What about making new friends?  What should I teacher about that?  And it all came from this stupid meme and others like it that have trickled into my Facebook or Instagram feed!

I despise this meme!

I can teach my daughter respect all she wants, but will she be ready for the world and will the be ready for her?  Society is changing!  Children are having brawls, beating each other to death (story here: http://pix11.com/2016/04/06/teen-brutally-beaten-in-front-of-her-coney-island-apartment-dies-family-says/), and in some cases it's encouraged by adults.  The world wants me to prepare my child but I have no *expletive deleted* clue how to do this.  My baby, who I see as the most innocent loving being in my life, will be let loose upon this world that is no longer a reality a want to be a part of and I have no clue how to prepare her.  So I did what I could and talked.

I had a conversation with my daughter.  It was short, sweet and to the point.  Here it is (paraphrased except for the first part):

Dori, I will always love you.  No matter what you say or do, I will always love you.  I will not always love your words or your actions, but I will always love YOU.  Having said that, I need you to understand that in this world, there are going to be people who, for so reason, don't like you.  There may be people who, for some reason, you don't like.  No matter how they treat you, give them nothing but the kindness and respect you want to receive.  No matter what they say to you, I need you to know that you are beautiful, loving person who deserves kindness and respect.  No matter what they do, let the love of all the other people in your life give you strength to be the kind, respectful young lady I raised.

Yup.  I read that from a paper.

And then there was something that I wasn't prepared for.  The questions section.  I should have known but it always catches me off guard.

Dori:  Well, what if they are a bully?

Me:  It's still important that you treat them with kindness and respect.  If  someone is bullying you, then they need love and kindness in their lives more than ever.

Dori:  Well, what if they hit me?

*there was a long pause here*
Me:  Did you know that hitting someone is called assault and it is against the law?

Dori:  No.

Me:  If someone hits you, they are breaking the law.  If someone attacks you, they are breaking the law.  If this happens, you must get to a place where you are safe and then call the emergency number.  If someone is angry enough to hit you or hurt you,  do your best not to be near that person.  Always, always, ALWAYS tell a trusted adult about the problems you are having with your peers (Granny, Auntie, Uncles, Grammy, Papa, ME, your teachers, Pastor Dan, your SS teachers, etc.).  This way we can help you before the situation becomes really dangerous.

(Whew!  I thought I handled that one pretty well!)

Dori:  Mom...I love you.  Thank you for being the best!

This conversation ended with an exuberant hug from a 10-year-old who is almost eye to eye with her 5'10" mother.  In other words, it was quite like having a Great Dane bound up to you and try to jump into your arms.  If you are not ready for it, you will be knocked flat on your ass.  I loved every minute of that hug!

I hate this part of parenting.  Every time I have to give her these life lessons, I feel as though I am ripping part of a band-aid from her eyes.  Why?  Why do I have to prepare my child for the ugliness of the world?  Why can't we as adults work tirelessly to give a better world to our children?  I just don't get it.
Tweets by @JackieMichele

Single, single, single...and believe me. I'm better off.

Well, I had a fun conversation with my mom today.  We were talking about the girls and then all of a sudden she says seven words that has me seconds away from losing control of bowels.

"So when are you going to start dating?"

Really, mom?  Really?

I'm quite happy being who I am and being alone.  When I'm alone, I can sleep how I want, watch what I want, and I don't have to answer to anyone about my ridiculous work or cleaning habits.  

Ultimately, I simply choose to be alone.  It's acceptable for us girls to do that you know.

A few years back, I was in a relationship with guy.  However, I had a recent epiphany and realized I was in love with love.  I was in love with the idea of being in a relationship of someone who I felt didn't judge me.  I was in love with the idea of someone who didn't care that I had a child with another man.  I was in love with the fantasy of a life I had created for us.  I was in love with my bubble.

I didn't want to be alone.  I wanted some poor introverted soul to curl up on the sofa with.  I wanted someone to go to parties with.  I wanted someone to be with.  The dream of that perfect relationship sucked me in and I gave myself up to it.  Walking through the supermarket, I imagined what life would be like when we got old.  

Many months into the relationship, the bubble popped.  I realized that I was financing his life.  I worked long hard hours while he drove my car, sat on my couch, ate my food, and pretended to be an adult.  He lied, gave money to his family without paying any bills for our household, and six months into my pregnancy with our daughter, he decided that life was too stressful to be with us because I was demanding, materialistic, and selfish.  Oh, yeah.  I hit the ground with a  resounding thud.  Right on my pregnant ass.

It's taken a little over two years to straighten out the financial damage that he left behind but I'm finally there.  It took this conversation, a trip to Target, and some online shopping to realize that I'm better off.  I am demanding.  I have every right to be.  I have fought for this life that I am living, and if someone or something is not up to my standards (yes, you read that right) then I will DEMAND that you get on up out of my life.  I am also materialistic.  I can afford to be.  I wanted a house and a new car.  I bought it.  I want designer sunglasses, purses, etc., so I buy them.  I know what I want and I will not apologize for that, ever again.  

My life is far from perfect but I wanted a relationship so badly, I was willing to sacrifice me.  I will NEVER do that again.  From here on out, if a man wants to sweep me off my heavily calloused feet, he's going to have to fight to prove he deserves to be in life.  And he better use a bright pink, glitterific broom to do it.


Tweets by @JackieMichele